If real men wear pink then they must talk and share their thoughts and feelings too. And share there problems just like women do. But that's the problem . . . In good old blokey Australian Society, blokes think they need to just 'get over it'! muscle up! get on with the job!
The trouble is . . . depression doesn't work like that. Depression isn't something you can just turn off and our problems don't just go away. In western society, especially in Christian church depression is seen as a weakness and even sinful. The trouble is in many cases hormones and other brain chemicals are switched on and no amount of positive thinking or 'she'll be right mate' attitude will turn off these chemicals.
Just like dietetics good diet and exercise will help, but medication is needed to correct the chemical imbalance. So why then when it comes to depression and other psychological illness is it different? Is it any more, 'Mate its all in you're mind.' than diabetics.
Technically true, that is so faulty brain thinking patterns occurring and these need addressing, not off the cuff remarks. If you really care about your mate you're take him for a beer or coffee and find out what there thinking. But the chances are once a person is displaying signs that they might be a problem, then there also some chemical imbalances occurring that need correcting, before a person to be able to address any faulty thought processes.
I know this because my thought process were faulty long before I reached out for help and that was before anyone noticed I was in trouble. Mistakenly my GP thought I had a eating disorder as I dropped to just 45 kgs. I can see how that diagnose was made. The point is I was having some real physical symptoms before those around me including my family who I was living with at the time, realised I had clinical depression that needed drug treatment.
I was fortunate that my educational background told me I needed help and my counsellor saw me deteriorating and referred to a doctor help otherwise I was sick enough to become a static. I also had a supportive church that recognized I was medical unwell. Not only did they support me but visited with my family to help them understand why I needed a doctor not just a counsellor. I believe giving support to my family was key to my recovery.
But I was a girl! I knew I needed help! I knew to see a different doctor! And intellectual I knew that this was more than just needing to pull my socks up. I had started counselling long before anyone recognised I was even depressed let alone toying with killing myself.
So if you think you mates not coping, then man up! Be up front, mate your coming for a coffee. I found practical help very helpful. Don't be a counsellor, be a friend go help clean up the yard or shed. Do some office work. Drag your friend out for day at the beach. My friends couldn't make me talk, but the didn't let me sit alone in a dark room either. It took many things to save my life, it took one friend to take me to a counsellor, have coffee and just sit until I was well enough to talk.
Don't be fooled into thinking its all in the mind and you can talk your mate round. Metal health problems take lives just like other medical diseases.
If you or a friend is in trouble pick up the phone, call lifeline on 13 11 14 or visit Beyond Blue. Next Week is Metal Health week. Take time to ask a mate if there OK? Or visit someone you haven't seen for a while. Join the "R U OK" movement and defeat metal health taboos. RUOK Movement .
Be a real man and talk!
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