Madman or Victim – Where is the love?

On December 14, 28 people died in the small town. Newtown, Connecticut. However on social media sites such as facebook and twitter the focus has been on the faces of 20 school children who went to school happy and who never return home.  Other memorials recall the heroic acts of the six teachers were gunned down in there attempts to save the lives of their students. There are a few who included the mother, of thus man who took 27 lives using three of her four guns.  Only the odd tweet and posts remember a young man, who was hurting so bad that the only way he felt he could express his hurt was to take the lives of 27 people before turning the gun on himself.  He was so angry that taking his own life was no enough.

As a community and perhaps humanity begins to look for clues and answers of how to stop these mass killings from occurring, the truth is we will never know why or fully understand why this man, choose  this day, at this time to take 27 lives with him to the other side of life.

While thousands are blaming gun laws and other blogs are debating who is a good person and ‘what is a bad person’.  Deciding the children are angels in heaven and the ‘bad man’ has gone to hell. The real question is how did society fail this man so badly that he killed 27 innocent people? It is this thought that leads me personally to label the man the 28^th victim.

Was this the action of a madman? I am not sure as I have not seen him as a patient for psychological analysis. However one would be hard pressed to say these were the actions of someone with a sound mind.

Rather the events of Dec 14 were planned by a young man full of pain, hurt and anger. The question is not why he did this. I doubt there will be a logical answer. But what were the cirmstances that lead to this powerful display of violence? I like many can’t help the questions my mind has asked since the shootings? Why, was he hurting? Who hurt him and how?  How many times was he hurt?  Was it one person or was he abused over many years? What was his mother like? Why, was she a gun collector? Did he hate his mother? If so, why did he hate his mother? Was he jealous of the school children?  Did he wish he wasn’t home school? Where is his father? Did he blame his mother for letting someone hurt him?  All questions to which we will never for certain know the answers.

Was he a ‘madman’ or just a ‘bad man’, as others have suggested.  Being so young some may might be tempted to ask if this young man was just ‘born evil’. As a Christian and a Behavioural Scientist I do not believe a person is born ‘good’ or ‘evil’ or just plain bad.  The bible tells us That all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

Daniel Scott whose daughter died in the Columbine School shooting describes the balance of good and evil present in each of us; "Since the dawn of creation there has been good and evil in the hearts of men and women. We all contain the seeds of violence.  The death of my wonderful daughter, Rachel Joy Scoot, and the deaths of that heroic teacher, and the other eleven children who died must not be in vain, Their blood cries out for answers."

When we are born we have an inheritant natural to do the wrong thing.  Our parents are usual the first ones to help us understand right from wrong.  Later there are school teachers, pastors, Sunday school teacher, Principals, policeman and bosses who help shape our understanding of the concepts of ‘good’ and ’evil’. Sadly not all people who influence our children’s lives are the types of influences we would choose for our children.  So often we here the phase “he or she has fallen into the wrong crowd’.  This is what is known as the ‘nature’ of the child vs the ‘nurture’ of a child.

To blame this young man’s parent’s for his unstable mind and any faulting thinking would be wrong.  A person’s behaviour is generally the end product of the chemical make-up of the brain and the sum influence of their environment. In other words society as a whole shapes who we are as individuals.

Sadly for some people their personality make-up might be such that the negative influence of even one or two people can determine their choice to perform what we may call bad acts.  However others seem to undergo tremendous trauma and go on to live what we might call good lives. Of course we know there are times when human behaviour is chemically altered by illegal drugs and alcohol.

Nor will the call for tighter gun control prevent further school shootings.  Again the voice of Daniel Scott expressed this so well to Congress "I do not even own a gun. I am not here to represent or defend the NRA - because I don't believe they are responsible for my daughter's death. Therefore I do not believe that they need to be defended. If I believe they had anything to do with Rachel's muder I would be their strongest opponent."

It is interesting that Conneticut has some of the strongest gun laws in the USA, and yet they did not prevent this tragic event.  This man first tried to buy a gun, but was unable. Not living in a 'gun culture' I do not begin to understand why anyone would want to own a gun, other than sporting reasons.  I am sure individuals have a variety of personal reasons for gun ownership.  Australia has some of the toughest gun regulations in the world and yet their were two separate shootings on the news this morning.  Our gun laws fail to provide us with full protection to pretend otherwise is foolish. "Guns do not kill people! Other people kill people". Guns just mean hat killing on a large scale such as we saw in Newtown is possible.  The are many of ways people find to murder people for whatever reason. 

Hopefully the thoughts I have expressed here show fruitless the search for answer is with complex individual such as ourselves.  For whatever reason this man was hurting and we as a collective society “unintentionally” fail him.  Leaving me to include him in the count of victims in the Newtown School shootings.
 
   

'Perhaps hate is best describe as the absence of love'
Please take every opportunity to let your children know they are loved.

Encounting The Spirit of Christmas

It's take two . . . The second annual 12 Gifts of Christmas starts in 12 days and we would love you to be involved. If you read my blog you will know I rate my involve last year as one of the best gifts I received.

"The 12 Gift of Christmas enable us to share the true

meaning of Christmas."

For me the concept or spirit of the 12 Gifts of Christmas (if you remember the song) is to give 12 different gifts or 'acts of kindness' each day starting on Tuesday 13th December. The founder of the 12 gifts of Christmas Trista Wilson has suggested the gift for each day which you can find on her Chain Links website if your plan to take part she has one simple request that you document your experience and share it will us. So your journey can inspire us and encourage others to take part in 2013!  Instructions on how to do this is on the website.

I will be sharing my 2012 experience here each day. Will there are suggested gifts for each day you can be creative if you wish or need to. As I work from home and am somewhat restricted by physical challenges I adapt my '12 gifts'.  While some of gifts cost a few dollars you do need to spend money to take part. If you join our community on facebook we will be sharing our experience there and I am sure you'll find plenty of inspiration.

I will attempt to post my 'creative adaptive list' before 13 th December.  Hope you will join us.

Debbie

For more information just leave a comment

NDIS introduce to parliement

 Today is a historical in the lives of thousands of people with disabilities, their families and carers around Australia as out PM has finally introduced the NDIS Bill.  The Bill we hope gives all people with disabilities regardless of  where they live the same access to therapy support services, respite care and essential equipment.  

It is hoped this Bill ends the lottery games and real funding is provided to meet real needs in our community. You can watch the PM's introduction here.  But as with any new legislation it a presentation of an ideal and much more needs to be achieve before every-bodies needs are meet. The fight is far from won. 'A significant life time disability' still needs to be defined.  Who is covered by the Insurance Scheme remains unclear.  A budget is yet to be set aside.

There's no time foe celebrations, it time to make sure the white paper is correct.  Terms and definitions are clear.  Now is the time to let MP's, regardless of their party know what you needs from NDIS.  We have all seen great policy speeches that yield poor results and wiped with a change in leadership,  We can not afford to let this happen.

I am asking until NDIS is part of the federal budget to keep telling you MP about real people with real needs, so this time every person with a disability needs are meet.

Thank you

Debbie

  

Peter's Story - Every Australian Counts

When They're Counting on US!

As a person with a disability I count myself blessed for being born in Australia, I find it difficult to imagine, myself being born in a country such as India, where no services exist and people labelled as ‘lame’ often are abandoned at birth because the child has no potential to support the family.
Back home in Australian I enjoy the blessings of being part of my family and the freedom to play an active role in my community. However, not every person with a disability is so fortunate. Many families live in a constant state of kaos as they struggle to meet the needs of their child who has a disability. It is usually the case the parents remain responsible for the child’s ongoing care well into their adult years. By which time their other children have established independent lives.

Even more heart breaking, are the stories I hear and read about of people who acquire a significant disability in later life. I hear stories from people who medical professionals deem beyond worthy of the same medical attention as an able bodied person, because of their ‘perceived’ limited ability to participate in the community.

Sadly the only option for some people, who acquire a profound disability during their adult years, becomes a life in a nursing home, where they are the youngest resident by twenty or thirty years.
Whether or not a person has a family who have the capacity to care and support a person with a disability should not be the sole determination of whether a person with a disability lives in the community or ‘in care’.

The sad reality in Australia at present is the types of support services available to individuals with a disability or families who care for a member of their family who have disabilities is dependent on so many variables. This area things such as where you live (different formulas apply in different states.); the type of disability (for example access to appropriate therapies for children with Cerebral Palsy are much more accessible, than children who have Autism, even when the child’s needs are greater), general community support plays a huge role in determining the quality of life some with a disability can have. If a community as a whole can advocate for a person’s needs then supports are developed.
Despite advances in human rights and disabilities standards, inequality for service provision and support carry a wide gap between one person with a disability and another. At present gaining any type of assistance is a game of chance. You fill in the paper work, jump through the various hoops and hope for something, often the tiniest percentage of what you actually need. The randomness of the successful outcome has no rhythm or rhyme to it. It’s like playing lotto sometimes your numbers come up, but often they don’t.

But thankfully after much shouting, protesting, submissions, interviewers, a royal commission things in Australia look set to change and people with a disability look like having the same access to services regardless of whether they live in Wollongong, Darwin or a cattle station in Western Australian. Sadly in my home state of Queensland the fight to join the National Disability Insurance Scheme still continues. However, the persistence and victories won by my fellow campaigners in other states helps me hold out for hope.

Meanwhile we continue to don on our red t-shirts, hold up our ‘Every Australian Counts!’ signs, and walk the streets until our voices too are heard. We will continue to write to our members of parliament, make phone calls, talk to the media, continue to share our stories, until we too have our needs covered by a National Insurance Scheme. Please visit http://everyaustraliancounts.com.au/about/ for information on the National Disability Insurance scheme and the recommendations of the productivity commission.
As we continue to echo the phase Every Australian Counts, until everybody will a disability has access to the same support and assistance as the peers living anywhere in Australia, including outback Queensland then you can join us at http://everyaustraliancounts.com.au/home/. Even better come join us on Friday 26 October for a disabilityTEA somewhere in this great south land, or even hold your own, and let people know Every Australian Counts.

This my friends is an example of what we at BAD#12 call The Power of We! The collective power a choir of voices can achieve. While it is difficult for an individual to create change when enough individuals speak or act together the real change can and does occur.
To day we bloggers around the world are uniting to spread the message that we do hold the power to change the world! I encourage you not just to read my story, the story of other bloggers around the world via visiting the http://blogactionday.org website.

Remember on the world stage of social change YOU’RE VOICE COUNTS!

STOP AND THINK BEFORE YOU BUY PINK!

Escaping the fact that’s its breast cancer awareness month in October has become as difficult as escaping the endless, Christmas commercialism  that once was isolated to December, but increasing seems to invade our lives all year round, losing its traditional Christian message, so much that I meet a growing no. of Christian who boycott celebrating Christmas. Let’s face it Jesus wasn’t born in December away, so celebrating his birth on 25^th of December in the mist of all the hype has become meaningless.

The question now bring raised by cancer survivors is has the ‘pink ribbon campaign’ become a victim of its own success. Are companies now just printing a pink ribbon on their products as a branding or marketing tool? And how is the money actually benefiting women who have breast cancer or early detection of breast cancer?

Supporting the McGrath Foundation

It sadden me to say their are companies and fundraiser out their who are sprouting the message for their own profits to the point that organisation who are fundraising put ‘pink’ buyer beware on there websites and their are now websites who publish a list of genuine fundraising  merchandise. The best way to ensure your donation dollar gets to where it is needed is by direct donation to the  Cancer Council in your state or well establish charities with a proven track record such as the National Breast Cancer Network  or Mc Grath Foundation. These genuine organisation build awareness and give direct support to women and fund raise all year round.  So you don’t need to fall trap to ‘think pink’ scammers, take you donation dollars outside the month of October if you wish. I recommend you buy your pink ribbon gear here.

"A pink ribbon on a item does not always mean your supporting women with Breast Cancer"

Today via a blog I follow I was me aware of the original meaning of ‘the pink ribbon’.  In a way was it was worn as a honour badge as a symbol of being a survivor of the disease known as breast cancer. Later it was worn as a symbol of solidarity worn by victims families and friends.  In its humble begins the pink ribbon was not about fundraising.  It was a powerful symbol of survival with a determination to defeat Breast Cancer.

Sadly in today’s commercialization of everything the original ideals held for the pink ribbon are lost. The hang on our dresses, shirts and ties like candy canes on a Christmas tree.  Pink is now the color of money, not a symbol of survival. Just like Christmas, pink October has fallen victim to branding and commercialism.

Together We Stand

Each year I am involved in hosting a Girls Night In typically recognised as ‘another breast cancer fundraiser event’ which it is not!  The Queensland Cancer Council’s Girls Night In Campaign is first and foremost about education of all types of cancers specific to women!  Of which, yes Breast Cancer is one, however at Girls Night In we’re also about educating women about cervical and ovarian cancer.

You can support my fundraiser here

By far the biggest threat to these cancers is early detection through education and early screening. This not only save lives but potential cost to the Health System, if we raise money bravo! It’s always seen as an addition.  I too am sadden in the past it was about reaching my target.  Now its – don’t want to donate, cool! Come hang out with the girls and remind yourself to be proactive about your health.  That’s why, I pack my girlfriends goodie bags with information showing them how to do self-examinations.  Hey, you can creatively do something like this yourself, simply designing a postcard or writing you girlfriends a letter.  You may end up being a life saver and that’s better than any donation amount. 

Although I having the girls over on Saturday night. It is not a fundraiser! It’s our night to enjoy being girls. I have chosen this year to host my fundraiser in November away from all the ‘pink ribbons’.

For me October is a chance to stop!  Take stock! Do the girl talk thing! Check our check-ups are up to date! And well party!!!!!

Our girl's night 2011

We’re having a craft night and will sell what we make at my pink Christmas and donate the money to the Queensland Cancer Council.  You can make a direct donation to them at My secure fund rasing page

So when you out and about and see a pink ribbon, STOP! Reflect on its original intent. Ask is that where you want your money to go?  Any by all means if the answer yes, or you need that particular items anyway, then I happy for you to make you purchase.  All I’m asking is you STOP AND THINK BEFORE YOU BUY PINK!

The Power of We

Blog Action Day is here again . . . and this year’s theme is The Power of We! Bloggers are hitting the key boards, ipads and phones to lend their voices to world change, because we believe we can use our skills to institute world change.  Whether our voices are calling for an end to the child sex slave trade, providing water for the people; bringing Christmas gifts, love and hope to children who have never received a gift before; treating AIDS; fighting for disability reform; dispelling myths around epilepsy; educating women about cancer and making it a preventable disease; We members of BAD#12 believe our collective voices are heard and result in real change!

Mother Teresa one of the greatest humanitarians of our times said, “If you can’t feed a hundred hungry people, then just feed one.”  For me, the true meaning of the power of we, is about millions of alone voices, joining collective voices, changing our world one person at a time. You can smile at a stranger, you can hug someone you love, you can feed a stranger, you can build a well for clean water, you can provide a child’s school books, you can pay for a vaccination, you can urge a girl friend to be diligent in her own health care or you can give a stranger a copy of a book that influenced you the most. If enough of these one off acts are performed by individuals then a catalyst for world change has begun. Will you join me on World Blog Day to knock down a domino to create a change in our world, because we do hold the power?  

  

   

Girl's Night In - We hold the power to create change!